better thoughts.

so i've been thinking, and all this thinking has caused a great deal of stress for me. its almost 5am here in thailand. i must say, my head really hurts. i need some sleep but for some odd reason, i cant sleep. i guess i never took time to realize the essence of life itself. i was always so busy having fun. as a matter of fact, i think i've had so much fun to the point where i excluded everything else out. everything else but fun itself. now, im sitting here, tears pressuring my cheeks thinking how i was so stupid. when i get back to LA, i have so many things to finish because i left life undone. i need to finish a couple more assignments in order to graduate. i need to get my permit&license. i need a job & i need to focus. i can no longer lag on life. i believe its my time to officially, grow up. its funny to me, how i saw all this in front of me but i never acted upon it. i took me this long to admit to myself that, i'm fucking up. i'm ashamed, but i refuse to regret. you make mistakes only to learn from them. so let this be a start of a long lesson ..